Social Fitness Challenge #14: Listen carefully to someone without trying to solve his/her problem.
When someone comes to you with a problem or complaint, offer them a listening ear. To practice active listen you should 1) look into the speaker’s eyes, 2) tell her what you hear in your own words–as much as you can, put yourself in her shoes, 3) clarify by asking questions to ensure you understand the person fully, the whole picture, the points being made, and the meaning to the person, and 4) ask the speaker if she wants advice. If she accepts your offer for advice, then begin to reflect on the advice you would like to give her.
When you are thinking about what you are going to say to a person before he is finished speaking, you are going to miss significant information about his story. More importantly, people don’t always want advice. Sometimes all a person needs is someone to listen.
Social Fitness Challenge #13: On the way to and from work/school, use all five senses to take in information about your surroundings. Share what you notice with a friend.
Have you ever left a room and turned off the light, only to realize someone was still in there? Or maybe you took the wrong exit out of habit of driving to a certain location? Every day, you probably engage in acts that seem to occur automatically or unconsciously. Running on autopilot is normal and, in many cases, helpful. However, when you overly rely on automatic behaviors, you begin to miss important details in your environment. This week’s challenge is to encourage you to turn off your autopilot and observe your surroundings in a thoughtful way. You may notice the smell of a restaurant you didn’t know was there, the view from the bridge you drive over, or the grumbles of someone in need. Reinforce what you learned by sharing your insights with a friend. By being mindful of your environment, you are practicing an important trait of an everyday hero.
Social Fitness Challenge #12: Let someone else go first.
Whether it’s the line at the grocery store or merging on the freeway, take a few minutes out of your day to allow someone else to go first. Being mindful of the needs of those around you and practicing selfless acts of kindness are both behaviors that define an everyday hero.
Social Fitness Challenge #11: Write a letting telling someone how much you appreciate him/her.
In challenge #4 we discussed the values and benefits of keeping a gratitude journal. This week’s challenge is another way to implement a practice of gratitude into your life.
Social Fitness Challenge #10: Have a conversation with someone you don’t usually talk to.
As humans, we tend to unconsciously group people into categories. This can cause us to treat certain people preferentially or with prejudice, without us ever realizing it. Any group of people that we feel that we belong to is considered an ingroup, and they are usually made up of people we feel united with due to a common origin, belief, goal, culture, or situation. People that we do not think of ourselves as being a part of are referred to as outgroups. The people whom we categorize into our outgroups are usually different from us in some fairly obvious (to us) way, such as appearance, culture, or religion. They also tend to be people that we do not know as well. Therefore, a great away to begin to break down outgroup prejudice is by having a conversation with someone you don’t usually interact with.
Social Fitness Challenge #9: Share your deepest values with someone.
Identify two or three values that are personally important to you. Share them with a friend and tell them why those values matter to you. It’s easy for anxiety and ambiguity to cloud your judgment in challenging situations, but reaffirming your values can offer clarity and direction when making decisions.
Social Fitness Challenge #8: Help someone feel included in a group setting.
Research initiated by psychologist, Henri Tajfel, in the 1970’s has shown us that all it takes for us to begin to carve out our social worlds into “us” and “them” is the random flip of a coin.
Continue reading “Help Someone Feel Included in Your Group”
Social Fitness Challenge #7: Practice asking for help.
This week’s challenge may sound simple. However, asking for help is not an innate ability at which all people excel. Asking for help is a skill that can be developed through practice. Everyone differs in the situations in which they feel comfortable asking for help. This week’s challenge is to encourage you to step outside of your comfort zone and ask for help in situations where you would normally avoid doing so.
Find more information at the Heroic Imagination Project.
Social Fitness Challenge #6: Throughout the day, take short breaks to practice mindfulness though breath awareness. Be sure to sit comfortably and close your eyes.
The following guide will lead you through a breath awareness exercise. This is only one example of many ways to develop mindfulness through breath awareness. We encourage you to find one that best serves your needs.
Continue reading “Pay Attention to Your Life!”
Social Fitness Challenge #5: Give a sincere compliment to at least one person every day this week.
There are two very different ways that you can respond to your daily experiences. One way limits your choices, diminishes your creativity, and narrows your point of view. This response is referred to as mindlessness. The other possible way in which you can respond to your experiences is known as mindfulness. It does just the opposite. Mindfulness and mindful-reflection give you the power to perceive a wide range of potential responses to a given situation and to choose the one that seems right to you.
When you give someone a compliment you are making a mindful choice to create a positive environment by helping those around you feel good about themselves.